Be Fun, But Don't Be A Clown
I’ve got a little bit of a comedian’s mind. My brain is constantly looking for the joke. Family gatherings, school, college, work — there was a time when I was famous for cracking stupid jokes and never taking anything serious.
As I got older, I realized how much of a problem that was.
It’s fine to be fun. It helps you make friends and get accepted by peer groups quickly. It also makes you feel good that you can make other people feel good by making them laugh. Women like it too when a man can be a jokester.
A problem arises, though, when you are nothing but a jokester. When everything people hear from you are jokes, you become nothing but a clown. As you become the guy who never takes anything serious, nobody will take you serious anymore.
Have you ever noticed that people laugh but never share deeper thoughts with you? If so, chances are that others see you as a clown. You’ve become famous for mockery and snarky remarks, maybe sarcasm, and a taste of irony. Talking to you about serious issues is therefore not fun, as you try to make fun of everything even about things that aren’t funny.
I finally noticed this about myself when I cracked a joke at a family funeral. I also joked about a friend of mine at work when he was in a serious situation that could have gotten him fired. My mom was angry with me for it. My friend didn’t talk to me for a week. Both were right.
Afterwards, I decided to change.
Joking is still fine. Fun is still a good thing. But to be a man people like and respect, you must be more than just fun.
You must be the guy your mom wants to lean on at a funeral. You must be the guy your friends call when they have a problem to solve. And when you are a clown, you cannot be this man.